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As we close out 2022, I want to celebrate our young adults.

They helped get us through the November elections without the projected red wave that threatened our democracy. The youngest voters – those 18-29 years old – showed up in record numbers, especially in key elections (and again in last week’s Georgia election!). They overwhelmingly voted to safeguard many rights that are existential for a large share of Americans.

I’ve been thinking lately about how our opinion and respect for young adults has changed dramatically, especially since I was in this cohort. It is well deserved IMHO. 

Workforce Sweet Spot 

When I entered the workforce, young workers had to patiently develop expertise that would lead to incrementally more interesting and engaging assignments and positions. It was very hierarchical. Young folks back then had no special skills except eagerness and energy.

In recent years, things have changed mightily.

Those entering or early in the workforce have prized skills – as digital natives — that are appreciated and needed from day one. As a program manager at the US Department of Energy (DOE), I relied on interns to help me manage the data and communication needs of the public aspects of the Solar Decathlon*. From their first day, my interns got to work on substantive projects organizing our website, creating data bases and weblinks to identify where prior houses are located and writing blogs and posts that would be appealing on social media. They simply had skills that most of the rest of us didn’t have. What they were capable of doing easily would have eaten up our budget if we had to hire expensive contractors to take care of these matters.

I’ve recounted this to every young person I speak to: their generation is appreciated precisely because of its youthful qualities. What a transformation. Gen Z and younger Millennials are in a unique sweet spot that will likely not continue. Going forward it will be the norm to expect digital and technological expertise, a thorough understanding of social media and the ability to figure stuff out via YouTube or whatever comes next.

Saving Democracy 

A couple of days before the November election, my anxiety eased somewhat as I realized it was unlikely pollsters were properly gauging the youth vote. Gen Z and most Millennials simply do not pick up the phone unless it’s a clearly identified parent or grandparent. Also, from what I was hearing about massive TikTok election engagement, there had to be a huge undercounting, given that polling algorithms do not yet capture this relatively new platform.

I even texted my kids to tell them I was excited for their generation to vote in large enough numbers to save our democracy. As many did, I woke up on November 9 hugely relieved and grateful that the youth recognized the importance of voting out MAGA Republicans and their ballot initiatives. Although only about a third of the under 30’s voted, they did so in much larger percentages than in previous elections, making a difference in many close contests.

The “Virgin Vote”

In the first podcast shared below, there is reference to the “virgin vote.” According to these scholars, one tends to stick throughout life with the party voted for in one’s first, or “virgin,” election.

For me, this was Ronald Reagan’s 1980 election. While many viewed the Iranian hostage crisis and skyrocketing inflation as the reason to vote for Reagan, choice was the defining issue for all the women I knew at the time. Paranoia can be a predictor of change. I have stuck with my “virgin” voting pattern – I’ve never voted for a Republican, with choice as the foundational issue. I hope those who never thought Roe could be overturned are doing a mea culpa since the Dobbs decision came out.

The Gen Z voter (born since 1997) has been greatly influenced by Trump and events that happened during his Administration. Current Gen Z voters were in middle and high school when Trump was elected. Rather than learning civics, they are living it.

I saw the effect on my kids and their friends. For example, I overheard a discussion of my daughter’s very diverse dance troupe the night after the 2016 election. To a kid, they were so devastated that their dance teacher wisely encouraged them to just talk instead of dance. They each had friends born in another country and were extremely frightened for their friends and their families. They were incredulous that an immoral, racist, misogynistic liar was now our President. They were fearful for their and our country’s future.

While this generation is not exactly a monolith or especially interested in party labels, they are motivated by values and issues. Their activism stems from concerns about voter suppression, gender rights, racial equity, bodily autonomy, gun violence, climate change and student debt. In addition, some are watching their states curtail common sense education. They’ve had it. Their list of concerns is much longer than the one my friends and I were worried about for our “virgin” vote.

Their Actions Speak Loudly

From what I see, these Gen Z/younger Millennials have a different mindset than those before them when it comes to material things. They are walking the talk on preserving our environment. They are deeply concerned about climate change and are less selfish in how they use natural resources. They tend to purchase gently used worldly goods and clothes on Facebook Marketplace or Goodwill rather than rush to purchase new items. They are less likely to own cars and more likely to rely on public transportation or bicycles to get around. In my home, my kids go apoplectic if I leave the water running for more than a few seconds.

It’s consequential that this age group has gained respect and power relative to earlier times. They’ve had to contend with much more than recent generations and will have to bear the consequences of awful decisions or indecisions made by their elders. Climate change, gun violence, and now abortion rights, among other issues, have been thrust on them to solve. We in the Gen X, Baby Boomer and above generations have screwed up. From Greta Thunberg to the Parkland kids to the young woman who filmed and shared the George Floyd video, youth are using technology and their voices to transform our world. They are active and organized politically and socially to a degree not seen since the Vietnam War era.

Social Media as a force for good

Most discussions about social media, especially as it relates to youth, focus on the negative impacts from exaggerated online profiles and an obsession with selfies. Social media has certainly contributed to social pressure, poor self-image, and cyber bullying to a worrying extent. Add in climate change anxiety, inequality, covid isolation and fear of mass shootings, no wonder our youth are experiencing mental health issues at an alarming rate. We also cannot ignore how violent extremists and the disaffected use online platforms to coordinate and amplify their dangerous efforts and visibility.

Still, I’d like to highlight the positive side. Social media has allowed a greater appreciation of difference and has been a godsend for those on the LGBTQ+ spectrum and others experiencing a medical or other issue. It empowers community and connection for the like-minded. Consider Black Twitter, or those with a religious or social connection, or even for parents trying to figure out how to help their kids navigate college or study abroad. I’ve connected with an online arts community I would never even know exists.

Young people basically live on social media, and it’s where they get their news and cultural cues. For this election, it was a force for good, and was the reason so many young voters showed up.

The younger generation wants to reshape the 21^st century’s political and cultural landscape to be more tolerant, inclusive, moral and innovative, not revert back to the inequitable-for-many 20^th century. Their numbers will inevitably grow in the coming years. Rather than appealing to a diverse society, many Republicans are focused on suppressing these and other voters as the only way to maintain power.

Young folks may have been sidelined until they earned their bona fides during my time, but today’s youth’s ability and appetite to step up, vote and show their commitment to addressing so many of our deficiencies is critical in this moment. I welcome them taking over.

Related Recommendations:

The Power of the Youth Vote from the Now & Then Podcast  

Gen Z Are Building the Future They Want to See from The Michael Steele Podcast

How Do Election Polls Work? The NPR Politics Podcast

*The US Department of Energy started the Solar Decathlon in 2000 as a university competition where student teams design and build solar-powered, energy efficient houses over two-years and then compete head-to-head in a large public event. It has since expanded to almost every continent. My last position at DOE was as Director of the Solar Decathlon. The US edition has since evolved into separate design only and build contests, without a central public event. For more information, see www.solardecathlon.gov

I would love to be more entrepreneurial than I am. As an undergraduate business student in the 1980s, I received a strong message that those who relish risk and start companies are to be the most admired. Ever since, I am fascinated by entrepreneurs and what drives them. A good friend of mine, Michael Potter, defines what an entrepreneur is to me. He started very early in his career building and then selling a telecom company and has been engaged in a wide range of pursuits ever since. He kindly sat down with me to discuss his career path and lessons learned, providing food for thought for those at different stages of their career and life.

A little background first

Michael started out with an interest in nuclear arms control while pursuing a master’s degree from the London School of Economics. While in a related internship in Geneva, he realized he wasn’t cut out for the bureaucratic life. He then moved to Washington, DC (where I met him) and worked in a foreign policy think tank. He focused on an area that received little attention but was on the precipice of a massive paradigm shift – international communications. This was a time when the government-run telephone monopolies were going through privatization and deregulation. Michael left the think tank to start a telecommunications company that took advantage of this colossal shift. His company was successful, went public and later sold, setting Michael up to explore whatever interested him. His next move was serving on the Board of an internet infrastructure company that helped build out European fiber optic cable networks and data centers, again leading to a healthy financial exit. He’s been involved in many endeavors since, including producing several documentaries and investing in start-ups. Currently, he is applying much of his prior knowledge and lessons learned to social impact innovation through his non-profit, Geeks without Frontiers. Its ambitious goal is to bring broadband internet to everyone on earth. Among other activities, Michael and Geeks are helping to rebuild Ukraine. To say Michael is an inspiring superstar is an understatement.

We had a wide-ranging conversation. Below are some juicy reflections and advice from a true entrepreneur.

Know Thyself

Michael reiterated throughout our conversation the importance of honestly assessing one’s strengths and weaknesses. Accepting our capabilities and limitations is crucial to pursuing an authentic, fulfilling and hopefully successful path.

Related to this is making sure the career path chosen aligns with our personal values. For Michael, making a positive impact and leaving the world a better place are core values. Another core value is family, and his early success allowed him to be able to put family first. He and his amazing wife Margaret have formed a supportive team that has allowed them individually and jointly to jump into many ventures and causes while being very present for their kids.

Understanding what one likes and doesn’t like is also essential. Michael feels lucky that he had an early introduction to a government-like bureaucracy that he found frustrating, as it seemed more focused on organizational dynamics than on solving consequential challenges. He realized his personality — intent on problem solving — would not jive with working in a structure like that. That’s why he pivoted away from a government/policy-focused career to a business-focused one. 

Comfort level for risk

How we perceive and accept risk is key. According to Michael, entrepreneurs tend to tolerate more risk because they are incredibly passionate about pursuing a goal even if it’s not rational. He was fortunate to launch his first enterprise in his mid-twenties, before kids and family responsibilities, but he feels nevertheless wired to be an entrepreneur.

He believes entrepreneurs tend to be more motivated by the idea they are pursuing than financial remuneration, at least at the founder stage.  They are comfortable being on the roller coaster — on the edge of being out of control.

While it may seem sexy, he cautions that embracing risk is not for the faint of heart and is not a short-cut to success. It takes a lot to see a risky project through, so one must be comfortable with extreme uncertainty.

Thrive on “No”

Michael’s view is that entrepreneurs thrive on upending existing systems and tropes and are used to being told “no.” They don’t accept defeat and are determined to drive forward and innovate a solution. He relishes overcoming institutional resistance, and finds that once momentum builds, change happens fast.  

Success under such conditions is exhilarating and addictive. It feels like vindication and just emboldens those with an entrepreneurial mindset to seek new problems to solve.

Curiosity

We all accumulate context, experience, and know-how as we go. Entrepreneurs seem to have an elevated sense of curiosity that stimulates their “why not” filter, prompting them to invest their time and resources into endeavors that many of us would never consider. For example, Michael (sometimes with Margaret) has produced several documentaries ranging from exploring the commercialization of the Russian space program to celebrating a courageous female spy in Hitler’s Germany. He and Margaret are extremely inquisitive and have made a ton of connections; this combination has spurred their involvement in a constant stream of seemingly unrelated projects.

Attacking challenges

Michael believes that our greatest challenges often provide our greatest opportunities. Solving problems that are pain points for others feels like a calling to him. He approaches complex problems as if playing with a Rubik’s Cube — breaking a situation down to individual steps that must be overcome to be successful. He views himself as a “fanatical problem solver.”

Building our network

He recommends that everyone build their own networking platform, especially since the traditional system of dual loyalty between employer and employee no longer exists. Establishing a consistent social media presence enables a deeper and richer network that can be helpful if something goes right or wrong career-wise. At a minimum, we should all keep our LinkedIn profile up to date, “like” and share posts, and consider writing an original LinkedIn article. It’s important to keep this up to maintain connections and visibility, and not wait to become active on social media until we are close to a needed career change.

More words of wisdom

Michael has found that it’s helpful to be a good multi-tasker.

Mentors are crucial to help advise us and keep us grounded.

Continuous learning, especially around digital technology, is vital to accepting change and fostering innovation.  

He also cautions about spreading oneself too thin. Having too many balls in the air can limit our effectiveness and impact. That said, I’m in awe of how many balls he’s able to manage.

Most of us enter our career hoping to contribute to the benefit of society. Not all entrepreneurs aspire to do this, but Michael does. He is motivated to leave the world and the next generation with tools and information that might not have been available without his efforts. He’s so much more of a doer than anyone I know. He doesn’t just imagine things; he dives in and gets them done. He also has an upbeat manner and a wonderful sense of humor that just draws in anyone who meets him. His personal qualities and world view make him a fascinating and truly impactful person. If I’m fawning, it’s because he deserves it.  

This is my first interview for my blog. I hope you found Michael Potter’s insights and lessons helpful as you pursue your life and career. Please share your thoughts and reactions.

Recommended listens:

I did not intend to provide a link to our zoom conversation, but Michael has a lot of great insights to share beyond what I could include in this blogpost. If you’d like to hear more from Michael, check it out here. [Please excuse the messy beginning of the zoom).

Cathy Heller’s podcast interview with Kendra Scott on her entrepreneurial journey.

I got inspired to write this blogpost after listening to Meghan Markle’s inaugural “Archetype” podcast episode with Serena Williams. While the theme of the episode was women’s ambition, I was captured by Serena’s description of what her retirement from tennis means to her.  She’s “retiring” because that’s the term used when formally leaving professional tennis, but really, she’s evolving into something new and wonderful.

This is how I view my transition since I left my Federal Government career. I “retired” from the US Department of Energy in 2018, meaning I met the eligibility to leave after 30 years with full benefits. I didn’t retire in the traditional sense. The term “retirement” is weighty, especially for those who are not elderly or infirm when they take the action to leave the traditional workforce. I wish there were a better term, since I made the decision to separate from government service to launch a new, hopefully productive, chapter.

I write this as many of my friends are either in or thinking about a major transition. Here are some lessons I can share from my last 4 years of evolution:

— Departing a job one has held for decades can feel risky even if exciting. Working for the Federal government for so long was a privilege but also kept me from a riskier path. It felt like the right time to embrace a new direction, even if I couldn’t fully envision what’s next. Just as Serena has. [Note: I am mindful that risk for me is less than for those without a pension.]

— Transition, especially if brought on by a stressful situation, invites introspection that we tend not to indulge in when things are status quo. This soul-searching, while distressing in the moment, propels us forward, allowing us to evolve more quickly, and usually for the better. I’ve found this over and over in my life, including in the months leading up to my decision to “retire” from my government position.

— I am grateful to those who told me it takes at least two years to adjust to not having a firm schedule.  For the first time in my adult life, I would determine how I spent my Monday to Friday hours. Especially in the first days, I relished not having a structure imposed by a workplace. I quickly found that I needed to and could create a full and enriching schedule, even if I’m admittedly much less efficient than when I was so time constrained. I’m a work in progress as I continue to evolve what I am doing and learning.

I could not have anticipated most of the things I fill my time with now. While writing this blog was on my list, painting, angel investing (and learning about it), and volunteer service to my local government were not contemplated. For those worried about how you will spend your time in your next chapter, my experience is that you are likely to discover new areas and interests that you can not even imagine in the present. Expecting a period of transition helps in adjusting to any big change.  

— The hardest part about not having a regular paying job is accepting a different sense of productivity. I don’t have externally imposed deadlines that help shape a sense of accomplishment. This has at times been a mind f**ck for me. It’s why I constantly create lists – to make sure I remember I have stuff to do and help me get unstuck when I question my sense of worth.

–People ask me all the time what I do all day, just as I had asked others during my working years. I’ve tried to be intentional about how I shape my time and efforts, with goals for my days and weeks, even if they are modest. I anchor my mornings with a long walk, and usually have a mental list of what I plan to do that day.

It can feel indulgent to be an independent actor, and I do have more time to lounge if I want to. I am incredibly grateful that I get to set my schedule, pursue new interests, enjoy seeing friends during the day, travel a lot, and no longer feel tied to the daily grind. I know I’m privileged to be able to do these things and feel driven to still make a meaningful contribution.

For those in or anticipating a transition, I recommend writing down thoughts (I love the Notes app on my iPhone) – areas or hobbies you want to explore, things you want to accomplish, etc. If you’re like me, you are unlikely to remember an enlightened thought or idea, so jot it down ASAP. Respect these thoughts as they form the foundation of your next or a future action, even if it’s quieting your mind when you have a momentary freak-out.

Above all, relish that we get to have these moments of reflection and the ability to transition and evolve. We may not be the GOAT that Serena is, but we have plenty of options to shape our future direction and impact.  

Recommended Listens:

As referred to above, Meghan Markle’s conversation with Serena Williams in her Archetype podcast.

A wonderful, provocative conversation by Ezra Klein with Richard Powers, who evolved from being a lab scientist to a Pulitzer-Prize winning novelist. This conversation touches on mortality, animism, politics, old-growth forests, extraterrestrial life, Buddhism and beyond.

As I’ve done the last two years, I’ve reserved my August blog for my recommended podcasts. I’m often asked for podcast suggestions since I subscribe to many, of all stripes. As you embark on your August vacation and need to start listening to podcasts, or update your own library, please see my new list. (See last year’s list here and 2020’s here.)

I haven’t changed my list as much as I did last year. I’ve removed a few that are no longer as relevant or have been discontinued, and I’ve added some new ones. This list contains my favorite podcasts, but not my entire library. I don’t listen to every episode. I vary what I listen to depending on my mood.

If I’m walking, I tend to listen to them at 1.5 speed. If I’m driving or cooking, I don’t change the speed. There are no embedded links since everyone uses a different source to download podcasts.

But first, a YouTube channel I love

If you like learning about small, niche communities, check out Peter Santenello’s YouTube channel. He does 20–30-minute videos of interesting subcultures, such as Hasidic Jews in New York, the Amish in Florida, Cowboys in the Southwest, California’s Lost Desert Town, and in far-flung places like Ukraine, Saudi Arabia, India and more. He tends to do 3-4 videos per location. His subjects are fascinating, and his demeanor is calm and respectful of his subjects and audience. I highly recommend checking out his videos to learn something and be entertained.   

My Podcast Recommendations

Note: I’ve asterisked (*) those that are new this year.

General Interest:

Now & Then: If you’re familiar with the brilliant, social media superstar Heather Cox Richardson, this is the show for you. She and Joanne Freeman (of my old favorite BackStory podcast), both professors of history, put in perspective what’s happening in our political and cultural spheres. If you don’t follow Heather Cox Richardson on Facebook or Twitter, I urge you to. She posts almost daily on what’s happening and why it matters.

Sisters In Law: MSNBC legal whizzes – Joyce Vance, Jill Wine-Banks, Barbara McQuade and Kimberely Atkins – anchor this podcast. They talk about the latest legal, political and cultural issues and provide fantastic insight from their years of working at the Justice Department as prosecutors, in law firms and as law school professors. Best for those interested in legal issues.

Hell and High Water: John Heileman, one of the most articulate and wise political pundits, and a host of Showtimes The Circus, interviews folks shaping our culture, especially in the political sphere. He is brilliant, insightful and humorous.

Sway: This is a New York Times podcast, featuring the hard-hitting interviewer and journalist Kara Swisher. She is a thorough and tough interviewer of notable folks in the news.

The Ezra Klein Show: Ezra Klein tackles a number of topical issues, from anxiety to climate change, in an interview format in another New York Times podcast.

Fresh Air:  Many people know this podcast and its host, Terry Gross.  She’s a great interviewer of a wide range of interesting topics.

Think with Krys Boyd:  I discovered this NPR radio station (KERA) in Dallas’ podcast by accident, but I think host Krys Boyd is among the best interviewers out there.  This is sometimes focused on Texas topics, but most often on issues of national importance and interest. 

The Daily:  The New York Times came out with this podcast a few years ago, and it always covers a topic in the news in a really engaging way.  If you miss hearing it on the radio, it’s always worth checking out what Michael Barbaro is covering.

IA from WAMU:  This show took over for Diane Rehm’s daily radio show on WAMU, Washington DC’s NPR station.  It covers interesting, wide-ranging topics, so I often check to see if there are episodes of interest.

Inside the Hive:  This is a Vanity Fair podcast with famed writer Emily Jane Fox (broke the Michael Cohen scandal) and Joe Hagan.  They cover topical issues in an engaging way.

Personal Finance/Business/Retirement

*The Long View: One of the host’s of this Fidelity Investment’s podcast is Christine Benz, who is a well-known Fidelity Investment analyst. It covers a lot of investing topics that I’ve found to be informative and interesting.

Her Money with Jean Chatzky:  This is the only show I listen to religiously and have never missed an episode.  Jean Chatzky is known to many audiences for the financial advice she provides in a friendly, nonjudgmental, and well researched manner.  This show covers a range of topics related to women and money.  I always feel empowered after I listen to Jean, who’s enthusiastic and encouraging regardless of how financially knowledgeable one is.  I’m even a member of this podcast’s closed Facebook group.  Men should feel welcome to listen too.

Jill on Money: Jill Schlesinger takes questions on personal finance issues and provides her advice as a Certified Financial Planner.

The Retirement Answer Man: this is a weekly podcast covering retirement planning from various angles, but mostly focused on personal finance.

Macro Micro Michael Marco: Startups at the Edge:  A shoutout to my friend, Michael Leifman, who along with his former GE colleague Marco Annunziata, conduct thoughtful discussions with early-stage entrepreneurs who really are at the edge of innovation.  They are great interviewers focusing on start-ups, a sparsley covered aspect of business, economics and technology.

Cooking/Food

The Splendid Table:  This is a very entertaining, light show that has great interviews, information and recipes.  When I’m stressed, I love to listen to Frances Lam’s gentle voice as he takes on a range of food topics.

Homemade:  I like the interesting interviews and information around food by Marty Duncan, a former contestant of the Next Food Network Star show.  It is a podcast of Allrecipes, a great place to get good recipes.

A Taste of the Past:  This looks at the history of a range of food-related topics. 

Entertainment/Sports

*Formula I racing: my son CJ turned me on to Choosing Sides: F1, which is about the backstory of each F1 team now and in the past. F1: Beyond the Grid interviews key people and drivers involved in F1. I got hooked on F1 after watching the Netflix series, Drive to Survive.

*The British Royal Family: I’m one of those Americans obsessed with Britain’s Royal Family (and actually any royal family) and listen to Dynasty by Vanity Fair; Born to Rule: When Charles is King; and Royally Obsessed (very chatty).  

Awards Chatter:  This is one of the Hollywood Reporters podcasts (and my favorite).  The host, Scott Feinberg, is a great interviewer of famous folks, most of whom are up for one of the big award shows, like the Academy Awards, Tony’s or Grammy’s.  It’s very entertaining and well researched.  Go back to previous episodes – he’s interviewed everyone! [Two other podcasts from THR include It Happened in Hollywood and Behind the Screen.]

*The Plot Thickens: This TCM podcast has been on my list before, but because it had such an amazing series this year on Lucille Ball, I had to include it as a new podcast rec. Each season, the host Ben Mankiewicz does a deep dive into a historically significant Hollywood personality or movie.  I highly recommend this season for those who adore Lucille Ball as I do.

Even The Rich:  This is a comical view of a range of rich figures, usually devoting 3-4 episodes for each rich family being addressed.  They’ve covered the Royal Family, Will Smith, Jay Z and Beyonce, Princess Diana, Madonna, the Murdochs and more.  It’s a light but well researched take on these folks.

Podcasts based on TV shows

*HBO’s Succession: I can’t get enough of this tv series and love this podcast, which interviews everyone involved in its production, from the writers and producers to each of the actors.

*The Official Gilded Age Podcast: If you loved HBO’s Gilded Age tv series, this is the podcast for you.

*And Just Like That: The Writers Room: if you are a fan of “Sex and the City” and the recent series “And Just Like That,” you’ll appreciate this podcast, which speaks to the writers, actors and others involved in making the latest series.

*Making the Ricardos: this podcast is about the series that focused on Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz’s relationship. As an “I Love Lucy” fan, I loved the series and this podcast.

*Bridgerton: The Official Podcast: This is a fantastic podcast that goes through each episode of the wonderful Netflix series, with interviews with its stars and a lot of backstage players. I loved this!

*The Crown: The Official Podcast: This is the companion podcast to the wonderful Netflix series. It does a deep dive into each episode and interviews key folks that makes this series so captivating.

*Schitt’s Creek podcast: For those, like me, who adored this show, this is a fun podcast that goes into the making of this small Canadian tv show that erupted in the time of Trump to capture all of our hearts and every Emmy award for which they were nominated.

History

*The Bowery Boys: New York History: this is a very informative podcast with historians steeped in everything having to do with New York City. I learned about it when listening to the Official Gilded Age Podcast above.

Presidential: this is from a Washington Post reporter who does a deep dive on each of our Presidents. It was on my first list, but I’ve brought it back given the political strife we’re engulfed in. If you’re interested in our Presidents, this is a good podcast to listen to. She also did another podcast, called Constitutional.

Dressed – The History of Fashion:  I love fashion and history, so this is a perfect podcast for me.  The two hosts are fashion historians that cover a range of fashion topics that usually can relate to current times. 

Year of Polygamy: this is recommended for those with an interest in the Mormon Church and Polygamy. I love the tv show, Sister Wives, and became interested in polygamy and secondarily, in the Western US, where much of polygamy takes place.

Stuff You Missed in History Class:  This covers historical events or figures that most of us have never heard of.  I loved the one about the 1918 Flu, which was produced years before the current pandemic.

Miscellaneous

*A Certain Age: this podcast deals with a variety of issues that women my age and older deal with.

*Learn to Paint: this podcast host interviews artists, working in various media, to discuss their approach to art. Inspiring for painters like me.

Us Among the Israelis: Two American immigrants to Israel cover a range of topics to explain Israeli society to non-Israelis. Interesting and engaging.

WorkLife with Adam Grant: An organizational psychologist, Adam Grant dives into the keys to creating a better work life.

Tiny Victories: this very short (maximum 15 minutes) weekly podcast by my childhood friend Annabelle Gurwitch and Laura House shares how fleeting joys and minor accomplishments can make one’s day.

Listening to podcasts makes everything I do more enjoyable — whether walking, cooking, painting, cleaning or looking for inspiration. I hope you find some new ones to listen to. No doubt I’ll have a fresh list next year. Enjoy the last weeks of Summer!

We all like to fancy ourselves as experts, especially in our professions. It’s hard to admit or accept that we may not be good at some of our pursuits. But viewing ourselves as a beginner can be liberating.

I’ve learned this as I’ve taken up watercolor painting since retiring from the U.S. Government. I literally had never had art instruction in my life, except for the pottery class I took once a week when I was 9 or 10. In my Florida public school education of the 1960’s and 70’s, there was no art or music in the curriculum. That’s why I was starting at zero when I started painting. I’ve found it freeing to admit I knew nothing about painting when I took my first class in January 2020.

Being an absolute beginner means that anything I do is relatively good. Because I don’t expect anything, I’m able to be freer with my style than others in my class that have a deeper art background. What helps most in watercolor painting is letting go and allowing the water to flow and work the paint. I try not to care if a painting comes out crummy since I’m doing this for me and not for a competition or sale. Embracing my beginner status has been key to letting my creative juices flow. What a revelation!   

I found being a newcomer to winter helped a lot in college. While I had skied before going to the University of Colorado, my Miami Beach roots didn’t prepare me for winter in Boulder, Colorado. I had never seen a first snow, so was awestruck that everything was so white and stunning after that first one my freshman year. I got cold much faster than my friends, so I felt no compunction going inside the lodge if I got cold while skiing. My friends would “keep Linda company” rather than admit they were too cold to stay out too. Being a beginner at winter gave me (and others) excuses to take a break — not often acceptable in the hardcore culture of young skiers.

Tourists discovering a new locale often feel much less compunction than in normal circumstances to ask a lot of questions about the best spots to visit, what restaurants to try, and other queries that we might be less inclined to ask when back in our hometowns. We accept what we don’t know, giving ourselves permission to stretch beyond our comfort zone. We get the thrill of experiencing something new.  

Not being a beginner can be a burden sometimes. I consider myself a climate change policy expert from my long career working on this issue, so can become uncomfortable around others espousing views I know are incorrect or who want involved explanations. While I loved working in climate change and clean energy, sometimes it takes effort to engage others that I don’t feel like putting forth. Had I been a beginner, I could just listen instead of feeling obliged to get into a more involved discussion on this important topic.

Having a beginner mindset can let us see the world as a toddler might – just being in awe of things around us. Rather than expecting too much of ourselves we allow ourselves to just take in information and maybe attempt an action without expecting a good result.

This has been so helpful in my painting practice. I love to say that I’m just learning. Having this attitude has helped me get better. Participating in critique sessions is part of the art experience, which is different than so many aspects of life where I would cringe if someone criticized my work.

I am still in awe of winter – I get as giddy as little kids every time it snows in the DC area.

Rather than always trying to leap ahead, approaching a hobby or endeavor as a committed newbie can help take the pressure off and just allow us to enjoy the process. It may even lead to creative leaps. Embrace being a beginner!

Recommended reads:

My inspiration for this blog – “Why embracing a beginner’s mindset at any age will change your life” from Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper.

Also from Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper, “How to be radically content in a dissatisfied world.”

I received a lot of comments about my March blogpost, especially related to “being enough.” When thinking about this phrase, especially after listening to the first podcast referred to below, I realized this is all about storytelling, in this case about oneself.

Self-doubt is one of the most prevalent human emotions. We tend to judge ourselves more harshly than others judge us, which can lead to excessive self-criticism and even self-sabotage. But really, we own how we view ourselves. We can choose to dwell on the negative or celebrate the positive. It’s our choice to craft the stories we tell ourselves and about ourselves.

Crafting our own stories

Storytelling is increasingly important in business. I’ve become an angel investor (or investing in very early-stage companies – after “friends and family” crowdfunding and before venture capital). I’ve learned that seasoned angel investors base their investment decisions on the personal qualities of the entrepreneur/CEO of the new venture, even more than the new or disruptive business idea, since most often angels invest before there is any revenue or dedicated market. Founders must explain their story in a way that convinces early investors to risk their money. It’s the story that becomes incredibly important, in addition to the founder’s concept and the financial term sheet. Consider Elon Musk’s path.

Growing up in the warm weather of Miami Beach, Florida, the message I received was that a young girl’s value was based primarily on her weight, and whether she was thin or even better, super skinny. For someone like me, often 10-20 pounds over(normal) weight and with pale skin and red hair (strange in my dark, curly haired and tanned Jewish community), I rarely felt good about myself. Being smart and a good friend were nice qualities but didn’t compare in my community to how you looked in a bathing suit.

What saved me were my amazing friends, who valued me for me. But what helped me most was imagining there was a world that valued intelligence and insight more than superficial things like weight. It took leaving Miami and living in colder climates and less shallow environs to realize that what one weighed was just an adjective, not the sole determinant of one’s worth.

Having to battle my own self doubt in my early years pushed me to develop a new identity. Receiving good, affirming feedback once I left Miami helped me to adopt a more positive mindset. This improved my self-confidence and refocused my story. I then felt more deserving and open to the opportunities that availed themselves in college, grad school and in my career.

Even considering whether I was worthy to write a blog involved telling myself a story. Who was I to think that people might want to read what I had to say? Could I provide the same wisdom and inspiration that I had found in articles and other people’s blogs when I was feeling unmoored at work?

What gave me the courage was realizing that even if the worst thing happened – no one read my blog – then at least my kids would have some stories about me. Reframing my story this way gave me the audacity to think that I could write articles that people would read in their leisure time. It took longer than expected, but I finally took the plunge to launch this blog in January 2020.

Just as I was retiring from the US Department of Energy in 2018, I was fortunate to be selected for a 9-month program called Leadership Montgomery, which exposes participants to a broad range of information about and interaction with the County we live in and encourages us to get involved locally. The more prestigious of the options was to go into the core program, focused on CEO-level folks intent on connecting to other high-level leaders in our County. In contemplating my options, I realized that it was the senior cohort, called Senior Leadership Montgomery, that would be most valuable and appropriate to my age and stage. Indeed, interacting with forty others who had such varied backgrounds and experiences was incredibly stimulating – much more so for me than being surrounded by those more intent on professional advancement. This new, non-career direction became part of my story.

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

I can only imagine how difficult it is for a person of color and/or immigrant to work in a predominantly white office, having had perhaps a very different childhood, education and overall life experience. A constant, internal pep-talk must be needed to feel comfortable in what may seem like a foreign milieu. That takes a lot of energy, especially when their colleagues likely have no idea. This is something I hadn’t appreciated when I was working in government. I’m sorry I was so clueless.

As we develop our own stories it’s important to think back and acknowledge our big and small wins, even back to when we were kids. Together these memories can build a compelling narrative that helps to differentiate us and lift us up.

Recognizing our strengths also helps to counter imposter syndrome, which, if you think about it, indicates one has achieved success. We wouldn’t feel like an imposter for a job we could do easily, only for a challenging one we were chosen to do. We just tend to undervalue our own achievements and attributes. Stepping aside and viewing our history from an external perspective helps confirm that we’re good enough, or actually even doing great. We are not imposters.

Disclaimer

This blogpost shouldn’t be misconstrued as providing a pass from self-awareness. A story that builds our self-confidence shouldn’t be used to avoid our foibles. We still need to be honest with ourselves about what we need to change. Someone who has a serious weakness in their job needs to take ownership to get trained or find a mentor to address it. A jerk shouldn’t delude themselves; they still need to change their offending ways to be an acceptable colleague or boss. Being unethical or doing immoral or cruel things to others is unacceptable, and no story should be used to evade one’s responsibility for bad actions. Putin’s war in Ukraine is exhibit one. While he’s told himself and his country a story, it is incredibly misguided and dangerous propaganda that must be stopped – by others if not by himself.

I am writing this for the rest of us, who are decent and trying to be the best we can be. Creating a positive, engaging story, even if it contains our flaws, helps to connect us with others and make ourselves memorable. I find everyone fascinating, especially if they are willing to talk revealingly about themselves and their story. Taming our inner critic is a win-win for ourselves and others.

Latest Recommendations:

Kindra Hall’s 4 Steps to Choose Your Story & Change Your Life, from Cathy Heller Presents Don’t Keep Your Day Job podcast.  

This article, from Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper, reassures me that anyone can write and maybe others will find it valuable.

I’ve always valued my friends, but COVID has highlighted how powerful and essential they are to our wellbeing.

For many this blog post will seem obvious. For others, especially introverts, it might seem challenging. This is my take on the state of friendships.

COVID helped us to clarify what’s important for so many aspects of our lives. As confinement freed up chunks of time we used to devote to making plans, commuting and traveling, finding parking and focusing on what we now realize are nonessential activities, most of us have had more time to reach out to friends and family (with the exception of those who had to homeschool unexpectedly – can’t imagine!). Personal relationships we may have taken for granted in the before times we appreciate so much more now.

I am lucky to be part of a weekly Friday night happy hour with a group of girlfriends that began early in the pandemic. At 5 pm each Friday, we’ve schmoozed but also had in-depth discussions on a wide range of topics – from silly things to important issues like white privilege. To a person we’ve found these 60-90 minutes each week to be a vital salve to an otherwise friendship-starved time. We’ve been able to cement our group relationship, but also individual ones, as we often section off into smaller groups for dinners or walks at other times. But knowing there is at least 4-5 of us (sometimes up to 10) on our weekly zoom sessions has given each of us something to look forward to as we usher in our weekends.

Be the kind of friend/family member you want to have

Before COVID, I could have set up calls with far flung friends, but I never did. During 2020’s intense COVID isolation, I finally reached out to and spoke to friends in Singapore and Moscow and across the United States that I’d lost touch with.  They were excited to connect and share pandemic experiences, but also to catch up on years of living since we last saw each other.  

Many have started regular zoom sessions with family and friends. My extended Miami family, which spent every holiday together while I was growing up, hadn’t been all together in years. But for the first Passover in 2020, and for several family members’ birthdays that year, all joined enthusiastically for zoom sessions.

Seeing each other virtually, and other heretofore underappreciated, simple things in life — like having lunch or coffee with a friend — were suddenly elevated to especially precious experiences.

While social media has its place, it can’t substitute for human interaction.

Friends are key to self-care

Moms of younger kids, in particular, tend to push friendships to the bottom of the priority list. It’s so easy to get caught up in work/family/school and let time with friends be the first thing tossed. Looking back at my intense parenting years, it was time with girlfriends that saved my sanity. I especially loved the multiple benefits that came with playdates or meals with kids and their moms/parents that proved fun for my kids and me. Walks with friends and mom’s nights-out were priceless. Carving out time to spend with friends should not feel like a luxury but rather as self-care.

Those of us lucky enough to ride out COVID or just daily life with spouses and/or kids should recognize that we all need friends outside of our homes. Some may draw a distinct line between friends and acquaintances, with the latter’s importance much diminished. For me, I love being in touch with a wide range of those I hold dear, even if I rarely see or talk to them. Who others may see as acquaintances I see as friends. These interactions have fed my soul.

I’ve been especially appreciative of how regularly connected I’ve been with my closest friends during COVID. Our frequent calls have been indispensable touchstones as we’ve navigated these crazy times, regardless of whether we live close or far apart.

Work and Travel

Cultivating friendships at work is vital too. This was not easy for me in the first 10-15 years at the US Department of Energy (DOE). At the time I entered government in the late 1980s, it was top heavy with older folks, exacerbated at DOE after a huge layoff at the end of the Reagen Administration and little subsequent hiring. Those who were not near retirement were middle aged, suburban, married men – much different than my life experience as a single woman under 30 living in the city. As time went on and working in government became more attractive and jobs more plentiful, there were many more people I could relate to. By the time I left DOE, I had wonderful friendships with all ages that continue to this day. It would have been hard to get through difficult times without being able to vent, brainstorm and laugh with my work colleagues, who became friends.  

I was lucky to get ahead of the friend appreciation phase when I retired from the Federal government in 2018. I traveled a lot for the next year and visited with friends in Europe and all over the US. It so enlarged the experience of travel. I plan to return to making it a priority to focus travel plans on seeing folks I know. Because I spent the first year of graduate school in Italy, I have an unusually large friend group from Europe, Canada, Asia and Africa. I’m so excited to see many of them at our 35^th reunion this June in Bologna, Italy.

There have been a lot of studies that show that loneliness is a key factor in poor health and early death, and not having friends is akin to smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. The best lesson from COVID is to cherish those you adore and if you haven’t seen or talked to them recently, reach out. It’s so easy to put it off, but keep in mind the health benefits of checking in. Be intentional about it. There’s nothing like having history with someone. Feed these relationships and they will grow.

My perspective:

• Be the kind of friend you want to have.
• Be intentional about checking in with a friend you haven’t been in touch with.
• Don’t wait for others to make the first move.
• If you feel you don’t have enough friends or want to develop new ones, it takes intentional effort. Get out there. Join clubs or exercise classes. Invite someone for a walk or coffee.
• Put yourself out there even if it’s tough or not natural or you’re an introvert. Ignore the awkward.

Recommended Listens:

How To Make Friends as An Adult from the HerMoney with Jean Chatzky podcast

Why Loneliness is a Health Issue from the Hidden Brain podcast

I turned 60 this month. My reaction to this larger number is more nuanced and upbeat than I would have thought. I hope my insights add perspective to those at any age or stage. 

I find myself musing about what I’ve learned rather than dwelling on the number as much as I did when turning 30, 40 and 50. Thirty was probably the hardest for me, as I was single and unsure if I’d ever meet the “right one” and become a mom. Forty and Fifty were tough because I was fixated on the number — “middle aged!” — although I was really more occupied with balancing work and family – raising tiny kids at 40 and teens at 50.

Absent the mess we find ourselves in with Ukraine, rising authoritarian currents in our world and COVID, I feel more optimistic than when I turned a new decade in prior years.

Empowered and Powerful

I feel more empowered, powerful and respected. I like that I’ve had so many varied experiences that I can connect myriad dots to develop insightful views and philosophies of life. Career-wise, I reached the point where I am recognized for my expertise and competence, and no longer need to prove myself.

A huge benefit of getting older, which was not expected, is how the invisibility that comes with aging as a woman is empowering. This is not a disparaging comment. I just feel safer than I did when I was a young woman walking around, getting harassed by cat calls and lurid stares. Luckily, I am still relatively strong and healthy. By being noticed less, I feel less vulnerable from a physical security point of view.

I love that I have the curiosity, time and wherewithal to pursue interests. As an empty nester and having left the full-time work world, having more time means I can follow my heart and concentrate on my interests rather than others’ schedules and deliverables.

I am so thankful for my friends, family and network and appreciate that I’ve been able to keep vital and growing relationships with folks all over the world. I am putting more effort than ever into these and I’m grateful for the enthusiasm I find when reaching out to current or past friendships.

I am at the stage where I enjoy being in service to others. I like giving back, whether by mentoring young folks or volunteering at the local level. I have the luxury of not being so consumed by responsibilities and personal conflicting thoughts that were more dominant earlier in my life. I love being contacted by younger folks seeking my counsel. Those in early to mid-career often think older, experienced people are too busy to contact. But I don’t know anyone my age who would not take the time to provide information, advice and mentoring to younger folks.

Deepak Chopra on loving yourself

A recent podcast episode (see below) that featured Deepak Chopra got me thinking. Chopra believes you have to start with loving yourself before you can have a positive impact on others. According to him, “fulfillment comes when you have meaning and purpose in your life.” In taking his lead and looking internally, I realize that I really do like myself, am happy and have a fulfilling life. I like that I’m a really good family member and friend. I allow myself grace and live by my values. I feel the abundance of nature and people.

Just enough is great

Wealth. We have a funky culture that often values wealth over contribution. I came of age in the 1980s in the time of the movie “Wall Street” and Gordon Gekko’s “greed is good” mentality. I was pursuing the traditional Wall Street path when the stock market crash of 1987 happened, and folks coming out of a Master’s degree program in international affairs, as I was, were no longer favored when compared to those earning an MBA. This led me into public service. In retrospect, I am indebted to this stock market crash for giving me a wonderful government career, which was focused on serving the national interest rather than corporate stock value. My husband and I made a comfortable living, but never a ton of money. Careful and early investment, and not being focused on materialistic accumulation, means we can retire earlier than most without ever having to count on our kids to financially support us. Enough is great.

My conscience is clear. I worked in an ethical environment where I never felt pressured to engage in improper behavior. Right now we’re hearing about the ridiculously wealthy Russian oligarchs and others who profited mightily from their connections to Putin but at the expense of being beholden to his monster predilections. I think about all the so-called experts, from lawyers to wealth managers, real estate and corporate types, etc., whose careers are dependent on facilitating the illicit behavior of the oligarchs, or the Sacklers, coal barons and others dependent on ill-gotten gains. Enough is great, especially if one’s conscience is clear.

It feels good to accept that how I look and feel physically and mentally is just enough. While I’m not thrilled with the lines on my face that come with age, I like that I’ve reached the point where I’m more concerned with my health than my appearance. While I was always chasing thinness, and debasing my worth for never achieving it, I’m now just happy that my body allows me to take long walks and hikes, do the things I like to do, and get good feedback at doctor’s appointments. I am happy if I fit into my clothes and don’t worry about achieving the unachievable perfection that I, like so many young girls and women, have been conditioned by our culture to aspire to. Feeling enough as I am is great.

Turning 60 or any new decade invites assessment of one’s life. It’s been a good, reassuring exercise for me. I recommend approaching a new decade with inquiry instead of disdain. Here’s to the next several decades …

Please share your insights, perspective and lessons learned from a live well lived.

Check these out:

“Deepak Chopra on Abundance & the Inner Path to Wealth” from The Cathy Heller podcast.

From Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper: Pivoting—at Every Age!—Is Happening at Unforseen Levels. Here’s How to Do It Well | Stacey Lindsay (mariashriver.com)

With all the chatter swirling about the “Great Resignation,” it’s worth thinking about how we make decisions along our life path. After listening to the first podcast episode below, I thought about how my life has evolved and how deliberate I was about constructing it. It’s a sketchy picture.

Such reflection brought me back to when my daughter and I were discussing college majors (as she was considering her college options).  When she asked me how I chose my major, it was the first time I realized I didn’t consciously choose it. Rather, my older sister suggested I be a business major. That was it. I became a business major and never questioned that path. I’m not sorry, as I really liked the course of study I pursued (finance), but I was far from intentional about how I chose it.

Dream, Design, Dare, Do

I’ve never been one for planning for the long-term. I’ve written before about how I hate the question, “where do you see yourself in 5 years” as I see it as potentially preventing one from unforeseen, novel opportunities. But I like the idea of the “dream, design, dare, do” methodology that the interviewee recommends. It’s about identifying one’s passion and then pursuing it in a methodical away that builds in accountability and accomplishment.

I wish I had had a four-step process before I wracked my brain to figure out bumps along my road. My haphazard processes helped me work through key decisions throughout my life — whether about career moves, finding a life partner, taking the plunge to retire much earlier than I would have thought, or getting up the gumption to become a blogger — but in less efficient and satisfying ways than they might have.

In one instance, I was facing being laid off due to drastic budget cuts at the US Department of Energy. I was thrust into evaluating my current job vs private sector opportunities. This process helped me realize I loved public service and at the time (late 1990’s), it was the US Government that was the most knowledgeable and innovative about climate change policy. This potential glitch really got me to appreciate where I was. Luckily, layoffs in the end didn’t get to me, and I was able to jump gratefully and enthusiastically back into the job I already had.

More recently, a close colleague and I were talking about whether we should stay the course or leave government in our likely last career hurrah. To stay accountable to each other, we made a pact to have lunch every few weeks with the expectation that we had to make progress on the job exploration front. Even tiny progress was acceptable, whether just looking at or updating our LinkedIn profile or resume; looking at Indeed.com or Glassdoor.com; or contacting someone outside of our current jobs. Just knowing that we were meeting soon was a forcing function that motivated us each to act. It also killed two birds – we had fun having lunch while moving the ball forward on preparing ourselves for our next career move.

Taking the pressure off

The last thing I want to do is freak out any early to mid-career person trying to figure things out. It’s impossible for someone in their twenties or early thirties to have enough life experience to anticipate all of one’s life possibilities. Circumstances around relationships, kids, health, politics, the state of the world, etc. are not predictable. Rather, we really do evolve based on the good and the bad that unfolds in life. Although it’s helpful to have broad potential goals, it’s not essential. Think about taking it one step, and decision, at a time.

Smell the Roses

While contemplating our situation, especially if feeling down, it’s worth paying attention to the small wins in work or life. This allows us to “smell the roses” along the way, as the second podcast link below recommends. Embracing even small bits of praise received in a side comment or Slack message can build us up and help us feel accomplished even when everything isn’t rosy. I know I appreciated when I got a thumb’s up or a nice email praising my efforts. At times, these small wins gave me encouragement when I really needed it.

Another tip – remember to “age handicap” where you are. We tend to devalue our achievements and over-value other’s successes. It’s natural for younger folks to compare themselves to someone they admire, who’s usually older and much further along their career path. By “age handicapping,” consider where this person was at your age. They likely were not that much further along than you are.

When I spoke to groups or individuals in my later years at DOE, I found using my humorous or pathetic stories helped calm people down. In fact, this blog is absolutely focused on that — bringing perspective to folks as they go down life’s path. Covid has reminded us that we all experience highs and lows along the way. Sometimes we just need to ride the waves and give ourselves a break.

It’s good to know that we have more agency over designing our lives than we often think we do. While it’s good to “dream, design, dare, do” as we contemplate our next step, we don’t always have to be overly prescriptive as we do this. It can be okay to be directionally correct, so that we might get close to what we want without hitting the next step perfectly. Or, maybe it’s the act of being laser focused on realizing the dream that allows it to happen. Each situation is so different.

In these crazy times, a positive is that the massive movement so many are making offers more leeway to veer to a new path than ever, as employers are open to skills even if someone doesn’t know their industry that well.

It’s worth a gut check to see if we like the lane we’re on. If the answer is no, a four-step or other methodology can help redesign our personal highway. We are in the driver’s seat in our one shot at life.

I’d love to hear your experience with designing your life and/or your recommendations for others.

Recommended Listens:

“The 90 Day Reset You Need For 2022” from the HerMoney podcast with Jean Chatzky

“How to gauge where you are on your career path” from KERA’s Think podcast

“Tips for joining the Great Resignation” from KERA’s Think podcast

Usually when we wish each other a “Happy New Year,” we really are optimistic about the year to come and sincere in our expectations for the upcoming year. Unfortunately, this was especially hard for me to embrace as we entered 2022. I found myself cringing as I wrote “Happy New Year” in texts, emails and social media posts, knowing that the year to come is especially harrowing.

My pessimism caught me off guard. It got me to thinking – am I an optimist or pessimist at heart?

Listening to this interview with Michael J Fox helped me process this. Fox, despite trying health issues, continues to be an optimist. Wow. Is optimism a natural state or one that we can be intentional about?

I’d love to say I’m an all-out optimist, but if I’m honest and from my concerns about 2022, I’m at best a quasi-optimist. In full disclosure, I operate according to “Murphy’s Law” (“what can go wrong, will”). This could be viewed as a pessimistic approach to life. But I choose to see myself as someone who is prepared, just in case. If I anticipate bad things and prepare for them in advance, I hope to avoid last minute obstacles that “Murphy” might bring. Is this strategic or paranoid? Positive or negative?

Is being an optimist at this moment akin to the mistaken optimism that those in Germany likely had as they entered 1934, following Hitler’s win in the 1933 election, the last democratic one during his reign? Am I being overly dramatic or historically prescient? Is rushing to the worst outcome irrational? How does optimism fit into our perspective on the world?

Since the future is unknown, we still need to function, so staying on the side of optimism is important to maintain sanity. In all aspects of our lives – big and small.

Staying curious helps

Being curious and attuned to alternative ways of thinking has helped me adjust my thinking in a more positive direction along my life journey. New perspectives could come from lessons from my schooling, a casual conversation with a friend or relative, or words uttered by a stranger.

Micro vs Macro

There were more than a few times in my government career when I got disheartened by the extremely slow progress we were making on an issue, especially when working on climate change policy. Why was Congress, the press, and the public ignoring obvious evidence that climate change was a real threat? [This was back in the 1990s, when, admittedly, the impacts hadn’t yet hit as obviously as they are today]. Why was the national press (yup – even the New York Times and Washington Post) accepting the lies fed by the dirty coal industry in their coverage of this new issue, then referred to as global warming? We might make small inroads of progress but then would get intense pushback, especially by Congress. Simple arguments that belittle climate change then and now continue to eclipse the more complex and nuanced side, even for those actions that could preclude further damage.

To stave off getting completely demoralized, it helped to change my thought pattern. I often would use what I learned from my Econ 101 classes, in which problems (or the economy) could be approached in macro or micro. When I looked at our efforts in micro, moving the goalpost was infinitesimally slow and it seemed our efforts were barely making an impact. But when I looked at the US system in macro, however slow and plodding, I realized that it was perhaps a positive thing. Often, long-term change was most effectively made either incrementally over time or more sharply after distinctly dark periods that allowed the zeitgeist to embrace a new path. I used this micro vs macro lens a lot to help me feel like progress was being made, however sluggish. It helps me now that I’ve seen public attitudes accept the reality of climate change, even if our Congress has not.

The same could be said for the seemingly sudden public recognition of the extreme racial and gender bias that has detrimentally affected public policy and personal treatment for centuries. Much of the population needed the dark ugliness of George Floyd’s visual, horrible murder and the exposure of Harvey Weinstein’s decades of horrible treatment of women to finally recognize that massive change is needed. Unfortunately, there remains a loud minority represented by Trump and his ilk that feels threatened by such structural change, stopping at nothing to alter institutions to protect what they see as their interests. In micro, I am scared to death. In macro, perhaps this is the darkness we have to go through to get to the other side. Only time will tell … in 2022.

Just Smile

Similarly, when I was mired in the tediousness of raising my kids, I found myself short-tempered and not always appreciating the adorableness of kids being kids. It’s tough keeping little ones happy and engaged while working, trying to get stuff done and finding 10 minutes to read a magazine, my most relaxing reprieve. This is where a conversation with my dear friend Fran (who tragically passed away in 2021), really changed my attitude forever. Rather than complain, she actively relished every minute she had with her kids. She reminded me how lucky we both were to experience motherhood, since we were on the older side when we had our kids. Her approach was to smile and it would remind you to appreciate every moment. That conversation made an indelible, positive mark on my attitude towards being a mom and how I mothered my kids.

Feeling Gratitude no matter what

My family has had to deal with some significant health issues, and people often are amazed at how we deal with them without wallowing. Listening to Michael J. Fox — who deals with even more significant health issues — reveals how he, and we, deal with health challenges. We count our blessings and think how much worse things could be. Rather than feeling sorry for ourselves, we only see how lucky we are.

Working at Optimism

Optimism for those of us who are not natural optimists often needs to be an intentional pursuit. As 2022 opens, the pessimist in me worries that we’ll continue facing more variants that will prevent a close to normal life. I am consumed by the potential loss of our democracy if the expected Republican takeover of the House and/or Senate happens, especially as some States continue to hinder voting rights. I am so worried that my kids and their generation will lose out on the heretofore underappreciated benefits of close, in-person work relationships, not to mention the deteriorating natural world.

But then I remind myself to look at the glass half full instead. The vaccines have helped those who got jabbed to stave off serious disease. While we haven’t made the progress some may want on climate, the level of acknowledgment and commitment by many to do something has changed mightedly, compared to the years when it was impossible to get public traction. And, maybe we had to come close to the brink so that the powers that be will finally take action to preserve voting rights, and hence our democracy?

“Discomfort is the price of admission for having a meaningful life”

I was buoyed when I heard the second and third podcast episodes shared below, from the Happiness Project podcast. They are both recommended for recognizing and labeling one’s negative emotions and not discounting them. As the interviewee says, “discomfort is the price of admission for having a meaningful life.” We need to identify the emotions behind our discomfort, identify our true values, and then take action that aligns with these values.  This is an empowering way to cope with fear. The third episode is an interview with Brene Brown, who digs deep into the power that labeling distinctly different emotions can offer to help one cope more accurately and effectively with life’s travails.

Feeling carefree as we start 2022 is not easy. I am listening closely to those natural optimists out there or others steeped in recommended ways to assuage our personal and collective anxiety. As an aspiring but struggling optimist, I am eager to hear your thoughts, suggestions, and techniques for maintaining optimism and hope.

Recommended Listens:

The Funny Thing About Optimism w/ Michael J. Fox (and You) – from the Go Ask Ali podcast.

Emotions Are Data…So Listen to Them from The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos  

How to Identify Your Negative Emotions, an interview with Brené Brown, from the Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos