With all the chatter swirling about the “Great Resignation,” it’s worth thinking about how we make decisions along our life path. After listening to the first podcast episode below, I thought about how my life has evolved and how deliberate I was about constructing it. It’s a sketchy picture.
Such reflection brought me back to when my daughter and I were discussing college majors (as she was considering her college options). When she asked me how I chose my major, it was the first time I realized I didn’t consciously choose it. Rather, my older sister suggested I be a business major. That was it. I became a business major and never questioned that path. I’m not sorry, as I really liked the course of study I pursued (finance), but I was far from intentional about how I chose it.
Dream, Design, Dare, Do
I’ve never been one for planning for the long-term. I’ve written before about how I hate the question, “where do you see yourself in 5 years” as I see it as potentially preventing one from unforeseen, novel opportunities. But I like the idea of the “dream, design, dare, do” methodology that the interviewee recommends. It’s about identifying one’s passion and then pursuing it in a methodical away that builds in accountability and accomplishment.
I wish I had had a four-step process before I wracked my brain to figure out bumps along my road. My haphazard processes helped me work through key decisions throughout my life — whether about career moves, finding a life partner, taking the plunge to retire much earlier than I would have thought, or getting up the gumption to become a blogger — but in less efficient and satisfying ways than they might have.
In one instance, I was facing being laid off due to drastic budget cuts at the US Department of Energy. I was thrust into evaluating my current job vs private sector opportunities. This process helped me realize I loved public service and at the time (late 1990’s), it was the US Government that was the most knowledgeable and innovative about climate change policy. This potential glitch really got me to appreciate where I was. Luckily, layoffs in the end didn’t get to me, and I was able to jump gratefully and enthusiastically back into the job I already had.
More recently, a close colleague and I were talking about whether we should stay the course or leave government in our likely last career hurrah. To stay accountable to each other, we made a pact to have lunch every few weeks with the expectation that we had to make progress on the job exploration front. Even tiny progress was acceptable, whether just looking at or updating our LinkedIn profile or resume; looking at Indeed.com or Glassdoor.com; or contacting someone outside of our current jobs. Just knowing that we were meeting soon was a forcing function that motivated us each to act. It also killed two birds – we had fun having lunch while moving the ball forward on preparing ourselves for our next career move.
Taking the pressure off
The last thing I want to do is freak out any early to mid-career person trying to figure things out. It’s impossible for someone in their twenties or early thirties to have enough life experience to anticipate all of one’s life possibilities. Circumstances around relationships, kids, health, politics, the state of the world, etc. are not predictable. Rather, we really do evolve based on the good and the bad that unfolds in life. Although it’s helpful to have broad potential goals, it’s not essential. Think about taking it one step, and decision, at a time.
Smell the Roses
While contemplating our situation, especially if feeling down, it’s worth paying attention to the small wins in work or life. This allows us to “smell the roses” along the way, as the second podcast link below recommends. Embracing even small bits of praise received in a side comment or Slack message can build us up and help us feel accomplished even when everything isn’t rosy. I know I appreciated when I got a thumb’s up or a nice email praising my efforts. At times, these small wins gave me encouragement when I really needed it.
Another tip – remember to “age handicap” where you are. We tend to devalue our achievements and over-value other’s successes. It’s natural for younger folks to compare themselves to someone they admire, who’s usually older and much further along their career path. By “age handicapping,” consider where this person was at your age. They likely were not that much further along than you are.
When I spoke to groups or individuals in my later years at DOE, I found using my humorous or pathetic stories helped calm people down. In fact, this blog is absolutely focused on that — bringing perspective to folks as they go down life’s path. Covid has reminded us that we all experience highs and lows along the way. Sometimes we just need to ride the waves and give ourselves a break.
It’s good to know that we have more agency over designing our lives than we often think we do. While it’s good to “dream, design, dare, do” as we contemplate our next step, we don’t always have to be overly prescriptive as we do this. It can be okay to be directionally correct, so that we might get close to what we want without hitting the next step perfectly. Or, maybe it’s the act of being laser focused on realizing the dream that allows it to happen. Each situation is so different.
In these crazy times, a positive is that the massive movement so many are making offers more leeway to veer to a new path than ever, as employers are open to skills even if someone doesn’t know their industry that well.
It’s worth a gut check to see if we like the lane we’re on. If the answer is no, a four-step or other methodology can help redesign our personal highway. We are in the driver’s seat in our one shot at life.
I’d love to hear your experience with designing your life and/or your recommendations for others.
Recommended Listens:
“The 90 Day Reset You Need For 2022” from the HerMoney podcast with Jean Chatzky
“How to gauge where you are on your career path” from KERA’s Think podcast
“Tips for joining the Great Resignation” from KERA’s Think podcast
I can relate to this. I took a job out of law school at a big Washington law firm because I wanted to do something in public policy and Washington seemed a good place to be. After several years as a corporate litigator, I knew I needed to take a step in a different direction. I took a job with a consumer group that did food policy just to make a change. I hadn’t given much thought to food law but it was several steps closer my ultimate goal of doing public health policy. Through that job I met people at FDA and ended with a career that has brought me personal and professional satisfaction for more than 27 years.
Thanks Linda! I love how you and your co-worker supported each other and your focus on the small wins.
For young people just starting out, I’d just add be open to the unexpected. You don’t always need a grand plan…you can go off-script. The most important thing I’ve found is to work with people you enjoy and respect.
What a circuitous path life can be! After spending 8 aimless years working in restaurants, I returned to college to get the architectural degree that I couldn’t manage fresh out of high school at 17. That restaurant experience provided the necessary maturity and ambition needed to simultaneously work and study.
But graduating during hard economic times provided little opportunity in a design office. Out of desperation, I sought a job in a local city’s building department to bridge to better times. Even that required a free, full time, fourth month long internship. You really had to want it to get it.
9 years later, I found myself embedded and committed to the building regulatory industry. But not to government as a full time job. The pettiness of local government politics consumes too much life force.
Now nearly three decades past, I have expanded my work internationally. The opportunities have proved endless. The experiences compelling. My contribution worthwhile.
My advice to my seminar students is this: Pick a specialty and become an expert. This carries one through lean times. Always in demand. Be diversified. That also carries one through tough times. But also provides the challenges necessary to keep an otherwise stagnant career interesting. And when forks in the road appear, take the path least traveled. Or regret you didn’t.
Thanks Linda for the share. I’m glad we both traveled down the same path for a time, despite the different forks in the road that brought us there.
Linda; Great job; glad you remained in public service.
Only piece of career advice: follow your passion, even if you make less money. You will likely do a better job, enjoy going to work, and the money will finally catch up. I made the mistake of going after the money at USDA–it was a close call–and always regretted not taking the job at State in International Aviation I would have loved.