Finding perspective during our sci-fi pandemic

In the wake of the massive change to our lives and livelihoods, it is understandable that many are anxious, panicking and/or unsure how to quiet their nerves.  We’re all questioning everything, and hopefully, examining our circumstances and attitudes.    

It is possible to find perspective in this devastation.  While not as huge as the coronavirus, I’ve found myself reviewing past negative events that I now see as ultimately very positive. 

It helps me realize there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

A positive angle?

Most recently, my son was forced to return home from his college study abroad program.  Upon re-entry, he headed to our basement to wait out his 14-day self-isolation.

Two years ago, we had a devastating flood in our basement, which required a complete redo.  Not only were we forced to finally got rid of all the crap that inundates a home after 20+ years, this flood led to a vastly improved basement. This was fortuitous for my son, who really appreciated spending his two weeks in a much more inviting, cheerful (and less cluttered) place. 

Another example, which I covered in my first blog, was my “luck” in having a hated job in the 1980’s. My commodities trading job in the World Trade Center was such a negative experience that it propelled me to dig deep and figure out what I wanted my next move to be. I escaped to a fantastic graduate program in Washington, D.C., which in turn led to a wonderful 30-year career.

I honestly don’t know if I would have gotten off the path I was on if I had been more or even somewhat content in that job. I can only imagine what could have happened to me had I stayed working at the World Trade Center on 9/11. That detested job may have saved my life.

Finding moments of gratitude

This pandemic has so upstaged our lives that it also offers a unique opportunity to re-evaluate what we may have taken for granted. 

Looking for moments of gratitude has helped me get through this period.

Such as …

I am so thankful to have access to the outside and nature (and am aware that many do not). I am thankful I have my kids and husband with me, and that they are safe and healthy. I am thankful for my dog (who’s loving having her pack around all the time). 

I am grateful to those on the front lines – whether doctors, nurses, hospital workers, grocery store folks, scientists, delivery people, postal workers, utility workers, truck drivers, etc.

I am amazed that literally everyone in the world is affected and staying in – no one is immune from this. The entire planet is consumed with one thing: Covid-19.  Given how different we think we are from each other, it is amazing how equitable this virus is (although death rates are not distributed equitably).  I am cautiously optimistic that this will lead to massive, positive change (next blog’s theme).

The first two links below are helpful for both keeping perspective but also finding ways to stay resilient and get past the paralysis that we may have. They focus on finding something you can control (i.e., breathe; pet your dog; talk to someone, call the mortgage company), solve for the next step, and restart from that new place.  Doing something, no matter how small, reorients your brain to get on a more positive track.  

What I’m being intentional about:

• Reaching out – I’m connecting with folks near and far, some I may not have been in touch with for years.  Humans (especially extroverts!) have a strong need for connection.  I have loved my interactions, whether through calls, texts, emails.  In particular, reaching out to my single friends has been a priority.  Zoom get-togethers (even my nephew’s Zoom wedding!) have created connections like nothing else!
• Trying not to nag my kids and husband – even if I cringe when one of my kids sleeps past noon. Smiling keeps things upbeat.
• Taking long walks is my salvation – really helps alleviate anxiety and reduces the likelihood I’ll gain weight from all the food I’m eating! I’m also taking some zoom exercise classes – not a normal for me.
• Trying to appreciate little things — such as noticing a cool leaf, colorful planting or nicely painted door during my walks.  This brings a freshness to a walk I’ve done a thousand times before, and helps me realize there is beauty everywhere.
• Reflecting on what gives me joy right now – and seeing how the simple things have the most value right now.  It really provides perspective when I realize how much I love looking at the $15 air plant I bought at the most recent Philadelphia Flower Show.  I’m loving watching my tomato plants grow from seeds.  There are fewer weeds in my garden because I have time to keep up on it.  Finding a two-ply roll of toilet paper would be amazing!  I find it so interesting that none of the nice clothes, shoes or jewelry I own are making this list …
• Looking for creative outlets. It’s fun creating meals out of what I have – improvising on old recipes or new ones I’ve wanted to try.  I’m also loving my Zoom watercolor class, even though my skill is very questionable.
• Giving back – donating more than ever to charity and attempting to give blood.
• Watching new shows, especially those that are uplifting.  Personally, Schitt’s Creek is an amazing remedy for anxiety!

Please stay safe and try to find perspective in this global horror.  This pandemic is especially traumatic for those experiencing extreme financial hardship, Coronavirus/other health issues, or devastating personal loss from losing someone to Covid-19.  For others, this is only a deep disruption. I really feel for those trying to work and homeschool small kids or manage those with special needs.  Still, we all have to try to find perspective to get through this, and prepare for what comes after.

What is no longer a cliche: if you have your health you really do have everything.

It will be interesting to look back and see how Covid-19 has changed the trajectory of our lives … negatively or hopefully, positively.

I would love to hear your thoughts – whether how to stay calm and moving forward or what else you may be feeling.

Helpful resources I’ve found lately:

Jean Chatzky’s Her Money podcast on How to Make Good Decisions During Uncertain Times  Listen to the first interview (at least) with Carl Richards, a Certified Financial Planner, who has great financial advice.                                          

Maria Shriver’s interview with Mel Rubin – Mel Robbins is amazing and provides tips to overcome anxiety. I’ve started following her on Instagram.

This Togetherness video (2 minutes) will make you think and smile.