I’ve admired perfectionists for much of my life. To me, they had higher standards, immense discipline, and unique abilities, and I wished to emulate them. That is, until I came to understand that most perfectionists have trouble completing things. Realizing this helped me appreciate that my non-perfectionist penchant might just be a virtue.
My approach to most things is to do a good enough job and then move on. Does that mean I don’t have high enough standards? Or was I equating perfectionism with expertise? What really is expertise anyway?
Clearly, a Ph.D. scientist exploring diseases has deep expertise that most of us can never claim. Like a medical doctor or lawyer or academic steeped in a specific field, this person may or may not be a perfectionist, but they certainly have the knowledge and experience that qualifies them as an expert. Perfectionism is not what distinguishes them (although we pray our surgeons aim for perfection).
Food Network to the Rescue
I must thank the Food Network and HGTV for showing me that in my own domain, formal training is not always needed. These networks gave me the initial confidence to trust myself to cook a good enough meal and make decisions about the décor in my home. While it’s great to go to delicious restaurants or hire an interior decorator, sometimes we know ourselves and our preferences better than any “expert” could. We can make our own substitutions if we don’t have cilantro or hate it. Being surrounded by bright colors makes me happy and lets me put my own stamp on my clothing and home décor.
Realizing that I could cultivate my own competency was a game changer for me. It’s given me confidence in ways I couldn’t have imagined. It’s also brought me joy in my own creativity.
Good Enough applies widely
Accepting a standard of “good enough” gave me the guts to write this blog (and sometimes include my watercolor paintings, as above). In fact, I’ve learned that when I’ve lost myself in my message and want to trash it, it’s time to stop editing and hit publish. Another lesson in how perfectionism is BS. Of course, you as my reader can judge whether it’s worth your time to read my blog. . .
Since entering the art world, I endorse the mantra – “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” – more than ever. Learning about well-known artists’ techniques helps improve mine. As much as I may admire their work, I wouldn’t necessarily want to own their art. What I love in a painting may not be what others would praise. For relative beginners like me, expressing ourselves in our art is what makes a piece special. We must accept that our artwork will never be perfect or please everyone.
This extends to body image. Our culture conflates thinness with worthiness. Like many, I’ve spent way too much time dieting and obsessing about what I ate and how I looked. One of the best things about getting older is accepting that I’ll never be the ideal weight or look perfect. Good enough is comforting. It’s nice not to constantly beat myself up. I thank Lizzo and other celebrities for spreading body acceptance to younger folks.
When you think about it, what most captivates us is a person’s essence – their comfort with themselves, being generous towards others, and often, having a self-deprecating, upbeat nature. How one looks is only one component. Anyway, “perfect” appearance can render someone intimidating and unapproachable – like a curse.
In a work context
Looking back over my career, the most effective people I worked with each had flaws, which actually made them more human and approachable. It was those who had an overly inflated view of themselves that were usually the most insecure and difficult to work with. I was relieved when I realized I could stop expecting to be perfect at my job, just as those I most admired were not.
Forsaking perfectionism doesn’t mean foregoing excellence. It just means that applying another 150 percent of effort is not worth the extra 1 percent improvement in the final product. It’s so much more efficient to allocate time and headspace to move on to other equally or more important tasks. During my time at the US Department of Energy, we were under the gun to get a lot done; effort expended to wordsmith a decision memo or power point slide deck could take time and resources away from accomplishing a more urgent assignment with more consequential impacts.
Our challenge is maintaining a sustainable pace that allows longevity and maximum impact. So, my wish for you is to examine when perfectionism is no longer serving you and embrace a “good enough” attitude.
Related, recommended Listens:
“Julia Gets Wise with Ruth Reichl” from the Wiser Than Me podcast with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
“Steve Martin on finding your authentic voice” from the WorkLife with Adam Grant podcast
Thank you for your insights. And I think your next move is the art fair circuit.
There’s a book “Good Enough Parenting” by Clavell & Quetsch that I often recommended to parents. I had to reassure some parents that I wasn’t advocating being barely good enough, rather that it was OK not to be perfect.
Spot-on…falling short is part of the human condition and full success can never be fully achieved. Also, much thanks for the shoutout for the benefit of hiring interior designers. My mother, of blessed memory, what one of them in Chicago and helped a lot of people with her expertise.
Perfect is the enemy of good.
Once again, you said exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you!
Nicely done and spot on Linda. Thank you, as always.
I’ve learned confidence beats perfection any day. Enjoyed reading this. In the world of MCPS, good enough would never pass muster… and that’s a discussion for another day!
Great article. Reminds me of a friend who’s business name is Good Enough Construction.
Spot on, Linda! I recently learned a mantra of judging my own work with the standard of “excellence” vs perfection. I hope others don’t take 50+ years to learn that 🙂 Thanks for putting yourself out there and helping us leave our too-tough inner critic behind!
Great POV — and painting — Linda! I enjoyed the comments too. What a nice community you’re building with your writing. I have to continually remind myself not to let perfect get in the way of progress…and learning. Thanks for the kick in the pants on that!